三小!!

几天前,朋友捎来一通电话,说要举办好友聚会,约好到一间自助式日本餐厅,一团享受共聚时光.

那时只说了三个人,都是有话好谈的好友...

想想没那么隆重,就选择穿上不怎么整齐的衣装,不过也没很邋遢那种...

傍晚6点30分了, 寻寻觅觅找到那间餐厅.

只见两个熟悉的背影站立在我身前.

哇!! 我不禁地喊了出来... 完全无法预料他也回来. 他妈的臭鸡蛋!!

不是说好三个人吗,怎么就我那么在乎的他也会出现在那儿...

真的很尴尬耶~

应该告诉我,好让我有个心理准备.

说到底是好友聚会,可是我与他并非就能是好友那么单纯, 连朋友都不算吧... 只能说是羁绊.

毕竟,我不知我在他心中的位置.. 他也从来不表示明白.

总之,一切太模糊,也因此变得很复杂~~~

整个环节,我就如被镇压着,太僵硬,尴尬,完全不知要以何种表情,心态,来与他沟通.

当大家说到欢天喜地的时候,我也只能傻傻呆着.

情不自禁,不想与大家同步...

就是不情愿.

就知道会这样子. 他妈的臭鸡蛋, 好歹也通知我一下,让我有所准备准备, 或许今天就是我与他更好的另一个开始. 唉... 还是别了,另一个开始又能怎样,我也只能暗自压住心头上的不舒服,吃醋滋味罢了...

不知道他要怎样,我只能走一步看一步... 我只知道,他不可以把发生过的当作大便通通排出体外,一同让它分解掉.

我有感情,倘若真得要那样,泪又要落下了....

是改变?是失去?

是改变?是失去?

有失去才会有改变,

选择要改变就让它失去了.

失去了他,我选择改变,

被逼要改变我就失去了他,

它们是息息相关的.

纯真三个月后

那个炽热的下午,

热气把大地间万物升华,

地面上热腾腾的空气使原有一定重量的气体变得更为稀薄

你我之间的距离亦随之拉得更近... 更近...

我们一度同步并存的平行时空旅途由此悄悄地展开了....

三个月纯真

寂寞,让人觉得无助,感伤,悲凄... 这感觉对我这犹如考试机械的读书生已是家常便饭,麻木了. 然而, 谁能抵挡得过自己的感情呢?

寂寞就像把利刀,穿心裂肺,若不把它拔出,日子久了,他就会与心脏连接,滋生疾病,也就是自闭症了.

因此,在一个无法预料,无法控制的巧合下,不知不觉中,我选择了他,成为我拔出心口上这把刀的主人.

经历了三个月,也尽力了三个月... 其中发生种种的无奈,哀伤,兴奋,期盼,诡异的暧昧情操,导致我无法一一用言语述说明了...

发生了的事,折腾我数个月的事物,更让我无从释怀.虽说过要忘记,但真能把它全部塞进我的短暂记忆相簿里,那该多好...

唉... 我猜那还是个未知的结果.

因为

今天,我又遇见他了. 将来,我还会....

Unconscious

Who am I?? What actually I prefer?

What is my hobby?

Brother, you have just triggered me to think about them.

When teachers ask us to fill up the personal information sheet or come out a resume,

What actually I have written for my hobb'ise' ??

Anything I do recently, that's the answer...

I really don't understand myself. I know only study to achieve what I should.

My duty is my hobby.

No more SLACKING

I have been slacking for weeks. SPM is just around the corner, yet I don't feel to start working as trials just ended.

It is almost a month... and I should feel nervous. But, instead of that, I feel lifeless...

What is the point of being a study robot. After exams, study hard, then exams again. There is no gap in between for me to rest!! For every exams I have put in my full effort. NOT only the effort in studying to get flying colour results, but also the immense effort to cope with DISTRACTIONSS when I have to focus on study.

STUDY is never a problem for me as I can close myself up for weeks in a room with books and exercises. The question is do I have the necessary to be like that?

People know what they see, they hear... But who is willing to listen vividly the hardship behind all that...

For times, I had ignored all other stuffs just to concentrate in exams, and it was 100% fully focusing. BUT, I have realised exams is not everything.

SPM is coming, I told myself, exams is not everything. But, does it sound an excuse for me to slow down my pace and explore more on other things? I can't slow down. People around me is working so hard. I feel stress. From them, from myself. intense then becomes insane.

I am going to repeat what I have done, until SPM ends.MY IDLE TIME WILL BE USED UP ALWAYS IN A TINY ROOM STUDYING....

Hardship When Stuck In the middle

Which one should I choose?? I have no ideA...

==

still Got 8 days to update!!! Upload images need a lot time. Spend hours to finish 1 day. LOL!!

THink will only update after exam!!

DAY 2

The whole dawn inside plane was torturing for me. want sleep cant sleep. At least got entertainment for us. Radio, movie, games... ...

Around 6 hours more of flying. Finally, we arrived Japan!! Narita Airport!!

Whoe. First time stepped on the land of Japan! The feeling like in clouds nine, higher than flying plane just now. LOL. Saw the notice boards all in Japanese language, I still could not imagine I was in Japan!

Ermm... Honestly, I think KLIA is more elegant than Narita airport. However, the truth that i was in Japan was what all about. When I went in the toilet, I realised that I had lost my cap inside the plane. Fortunately, I rushed back and retreated it back. huuuu... a good or bad starting?? I don't know.

When we came out, the organizers leaded us to a guest room inside the airport. We met with other participants from other country also. Vietnam, the earliest, then us, then Sri Lanka, finally, Thailand.. We departed from airport to TOKYO!!!!! Ahrrggg, I like tokyo so much.

Along the journey, instead of sleeping I were resting. The highway, road side, the environment, houses, cars, traffic boards.... everything. I cant missed them. However I were lethargic @.@

I took pictures. Things liked waving as they welcomed us. Epic!!!

Outside the airport

On the way to National Olympics Memorial Youth Center:

"Waving"

We arrived at Olympic centre. Check-in. Each person get one small room for themselves.

After settled everything. We went to cafeteria in the centre to have our lunch. Ra-men, slurps~

At 1 o'clock sharp, It was the opening ceremony. It was great to met again with our japanese friends again!! Each team will introduce school and country. It was a mess. The power point, I forgot to delete the effects, causing some problem there.

Except that, everything was just fine.

After some speech from the organizers and directors, it was break session. We served by cake drinks of course, "Kirin" キリン is a kind of drinks taste like virtagen milk favour. I like it.

Then was the Topic Reviews session. Work time. LOL. Boring... Ok, skip.

Break again. Now, we were allowed to go back to our room. I changed from school uniform to casual wearing.

Then, we attended a welcome party!! Cool... buffet was prepared. Awesome. Various type of Japanese food. There were also game session going on during the party!! Cool!!! I won the sushi erasers. HAha, with the help from Japanese friends, Miharu, Mei... ... Teacher also... LOL.

COOL!!

YUmmy~ ~ :

Note the person with a camera (right side)

He is Pro!! Keep snapping photo during the whole programme. Awesome!!

Friendly and good-hearted also.

The bottle of drink is kirin lol.. White in colour, taste good!!

Group photo session!!

Party ended at 7.00 pm

We were forced to go back our room. And all the japanese students went back to their school. Miss ya..

That night, we bath changed and walked around the centre. It was huge..

We bought ice-cream, water and souvenirs from the convenient store. The ice-cream tastes different. LOL... haha.

when we went back to room. We met the organizers. Talked with them.

Then, around 10 something I slept.

Olympic centre at night :

Ps: the bath room is... don't know how to describe... Japanese style>>

Take a look. LOL

Hakuho Scheme for a Global Children’s Japanese Language Network (3rd Japan Experience Program for Overseas Children) DAY 1

The first day was easy and light (except the 荷物）

We gathered at KLIA around 8:30 night. The JL (Japan Airlines) plane departed at 11:30.

3 hours before departure time, we can check-in already.

That first day, I was very excited!! And nervous. Think it should be a programme so wun be having lots of fun if working are the main objective for this trip. Haha, all things happened next were unexpected. I realized my paranoid disease attacked me again for that moment.

We took few pictures, with all parents, partner friends and of course the one who selected us, Pn Ng.

4 of us, participants!! LOL, I am the oldest in 5 of them (ignore teacher) HAHA

Someone stalked me and yi zhung while we were discussing something ==

All together, we smile!!

Then, we check-in, walked into plane!!

After seated. The aeroplane fled at 11.30 pm precisely.

LOL, amazed by their service. Yea, Japan is famous because they dont like to procrastinate their work and time.

In aeroplane, I said: Bye bye Malaysia.. Haha, fled without regret.

Japan!!

I went to Japan, I was the student participant in the Hakuho Scheme for a Global Children’s Japanese Language Network (3rd Japan Experience Program for Overseas Children). It was unexpected, It happened to me just like once a blue moon.

However, weeks before the exam or you could say it was the weeks after 2nd term exam, preparation for this programme was what all I was busying at... Truly, many stuff I had been neglected that time, and the excuses I gave are (you knew it)...

Dont know why, Malaysia was not the only country that took part in this programme but I just felt that we are the pilot or main or more focusing country in this programme. Maybe I did those annoying paper works and the instinct just caught to that point of view. Who knows?

Ahh, maybe our team partner came here. Haha, I should called them good friends. The homestay of Tsubasa Baba in my house was Awesome, I can still remember that!! Because it is just memorable. xP

After when they went back to Japan, things not ended that easily... we still contact with each other via internet. Mainly about the programme contents.

Weeks after weeks, that's all, preparations that I could do I did it within my energy limit. BUT!!!

Tell you, the process took me slowly to the evil. So frustrated and unfair.. Because this programme not me only who was the one participated, another 3 students from CHS as well. Therefore, cooperation is always vital and essential but, because of that, I suffered.

I think i gonna seal it, because it is not good and prohibited to teas someone bad, in contrast, praise you yourself is the only one best. God may not allow that...

Talking about preparations. OMG!! things predicted could be done by the week we went there, out of the blue again, teacher advisor, Pn Ng Kar Pek, gave us favour on the cultural performance. That was shit!! the news when I received was just 2 days before we departed. LOL, cultural =.= 2 days =.= What can we do? we sang!! and yi zhing played piano although we planned to play guitar for the performance, but the occasion or the organization didnt provided guitars. Teacher dont allow us to bring our own guitars also, reason was dangerous.

Whatever, things for that were over now, thinking and visualising back that moment. Haha, funny.

The introduction for school and Malaysia were also made us headache, wasted ample of time there. Originally, we could finish them fast, but you know la, conflict happened once again. ok, seal it.

Finally, it was Saturday (11/9). Tell you, the preparation needed to be done in the last minutes not yet finished when we reached Japan.

LATE UPDATE

Almost 2 months, I have not been updated my blog..

This 2 months seem like a long period lesson for me. Yea, I learn a lot, the things you cant learn during the school lessons.

I gained many experience, many joys, and more which I'm not be able to say.

They are changing my mind set now...

...

HnG? Hate and Get off???

Sign.

I was being neglected...

I join HnG since form one... Still remember the first year. So good and so fun.

I can say Hur Beng year was the most epic year for me... I had so much fun throughout that whole year in HnG...

Till now, everything seems to be different, changing little by little... till I think: am I so bad?

Agm... For me it is just like a nightmare... The top 4s were told for their respective pose are permanent before agm... What the hell is that? no democratic?? How come during agm still got vote? thought Kae Yng said dont have... A MESS.

Seriously, I was already very fed up with all that already...

The outcome for president is HW... :o

I dont like his attitude, in some sort of way that he was very hard to his own thoughts. He is just --------- (stop talking about him)--------------

Why I prefer FH because he changed already. I know. Last years, he was still those people who kept want win although he knew he wrong. Last time, he was just.... CRAP!! No use saying last time.... But what now, he is willing to accept what people tell him. He is more formal and reasonable in his way of doing job. I am saying the truth.

Although he cant reach to the president pose, but the vice president must be him. No doubt.

Haizzz...All that are just only about the system problem.

Come back to me.

I really dont know what I should say... The feeling is shit!!

All friends join HnG same time with me, all hook up with pose, but I am the only one who being left out!!

Thought this year add in a new pose, auditor, so I might still got hope, who knows... it just fly away like that... such a shame for me... only me. Who can feel what I am feeling now?

Haizzzz....

insomniac.

I am too confuse with too many things that happen recently...

Everything end up like this... Whose fault? mine?? or them?

Think there wouldnt be any specific answer for me...

Haizz... What can I do except sad?

Pass everyday hopefully?

I hope I can do that. but for now, dont think so......

Let's keep them seal and continue ACTING IN LIFE.

Recently...

This world is too unfair.

A lot things happened.

The matter that I feel the most depress is about the AGM thingy...

Let's see the choir club...

I join choir since form 3. Remember that time, Hui Xin and Jia Zhen also take in choir same time as me. We all involved in the state competition. We practised and practised and finally got second runner up. It was fun and indeed, I experienced a lot of new things...

Still remember I was suck in singing during that time... However, choir can change a person from nobody to somebody.

Haha, it was a disguise to think about it, I used to kept teasing by my friends, especially Fook Hong. He used to tease me, about many things that I cant really remember now... Therefore, I was always low self-esteem when knowing many of friends were so expert in singing... lol.

Thinking back that time, I was just a loser, a traditional student who know only about study.

After playing a simple role in choir, I know how to sing well, enhance my music sense. Think everything was good so far. However, till now, only I know...

The truth of me in other seniors eyes...

Unfortunately, I got nothing in my year of AGM. I was not calling for interview. I was wondering that time, however I just kept quiet because they said there would be another round of intake. Who knows, here came the AGM so fast. lOl..........

Then, through some ways I know the reasons why they judged me like that...

Here are the idiotic reasons.

They said I was not outstanding enough

They said I was busy in HnG.

They said they didn't see my effort in choir

They said choir should have a certain quota for selective candidates.

The reasons are not reasonable. sobs... because of that then kick me away.

Firstly, I am not as talented as Jia Zhen which got fully enveloped music background. How outstanding should I be?? I did my best what they ordered... I have no idea what they want actually... ==

Secondly, I was busy in HnG?? Doesnt it an excuse. Hui Xin even busier than me. She busy in prefect, ed-board and her outside project. What about me, just because HnG?? What is that man!!

Then, the most angry is that they said I didnt effort for choir... I can say, they are utterly blind and stupid. Honestly, who cares how much I put in for CHS idol. Indeed only myself. The list mentioned I was the Head of Discipline. Actually I can be anything as well. Since Hui Xin and Daniel were confronting some communication problem, I was the HR already. She fed up, then I helped her. I went to find judgers together with them. I helped to coordinate the juniors as well. I gave suggestion to Hui Xin, I reminded her as well. Then, of course the discipline also... During the big day "Finale" I was at the back stage, arranged CDs for participants... Ahh... the CDs, I am the one who collect from them as well. Booking for room and hall, I went together with Hui Xin also.... What I did are not effort then they called?? :/

Finally come to the last part.... The quota is totally a shit... Said what let juniors have more chances to involved, didnt they think the consequences?? Why dont they fill in all form 4s first? form 4 is the last year. Why they want waste the chance for form 4s, they should know juniors still got chances but not for form 4s like us... ... do the quota really help??

Haizzz....

Can see that I am the victim... I did not do any harm to choir, not a single!! I did not harm any seniors... why they want to neglect me??

NO IDEA... in forlorn, depress...

That are not all... Still got HnG... Another headache....

:/

Hectic

Get back to school for 2 weeks adi, now the third week...

life becomes busier. Many times got the intend to blog but always drag away by something else.

Agm, competition, project... Can dominate your space and your time.

Awww, just looking for a gap like now to relax.

By the way, recently, i found that old green day' songs are tasty.

Haha... feeling the epic in them...

Omg, i juz remember the bass line of " Stuart and the Avenue" !!!

my dreams to reach that level. Hope soon, yea, not far, i gonna meet my teacher to boost me above.

Ahaha... (Half true yet quarter hope and another quarter hyperbola. )

PS: crapping....

So, what? Let's burn out together >> COME EASE THE PAIN THAT IN MY HEART!!

THen,,,

Be THE KING OF THE DAY.

HAHA, xP

HOlidays

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//___//

velocity? acceleration? enzymes? Amoeba? sodium? chlorine gas??

Anyway...

Exam is over...

Whoo ray....

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____$$$$____”$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”______o$$$
_____”$$$o_____”””$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$”$$”_________$$$
_______$$$o__________”$$””$$$$$$””””___________o$$$
_______$$$$o________________________________o$$$”
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____________””$$$$$oooo__”$$$o$$$$$$$$$”””
_______________””$$$$$$$oo $$$$$$$$$$
__________________________$$$$$$$$$$$
__________________________$$$$$$$$$$$
__________________________”$$$$$$$$$$”
___________________________”$$$$$$$$$

A Low Day

Guitars... guitars... Where are u?

cant find a suitable one... AWwwww....

The sound quality suckss... weird...

Fernand, jackson... i cant afford...

see others if got chance lo....

Night, terrible also. i went out dinner with family... Mix rice. Zadao...

Then went grandmum house.. doze off there... woke by brother, the went to The Mines shopping centre...

i walked and walked... didnot buy anything... feel like exercise only.

Finally can fetch sister from her friend house... ermm, bungalow.... they were having party... ....

Saw so many nice and humongous house... oh, my dream...

Fine, i think i should just forget about it and go back sleep la....

What a low day...

==

I will blog tomorrow la...

After i meet the guitars... hehe.

I am crazy about it now.

cant wait for facebook-ing now... after so long time didnt check...

Relieve...

Finally, i can enjoy my leisure already.

Exam is over ma... Should be was over.

Anywhere, i have to attend my activitiesss more already. Should be okay for me, i think. Just get used to it.

Whooots, cant wait to choose my new guitar tomorrow. xp

SejaRah!!

AWw, you so fat already... i scare i cant read you all... Cant you just be nice to me... x[

Boring, for exam? for what? result? or self-satisfaction??

Hmm, i think i just gonna suit you in to me, my life style. I just gonna test by you with me smiling although i noe you difficult me!!

Because you test my memorise and my TIME(your exam not far and i still haven go dim you)

so it is challenging then i think i can start to like you for exam period la...

hey, sejarah, You are doing something in my law NOW!!

Come on, take me... i know you want lose...

PHOBIA * thumbs up*??

i hate phobia... i hate phobia... i hate phobia...

NO phone... because cancer??

NO money because PooR??

NO freedom because exam??

NO life because one day we will die??

Ermm, okay.. i am just talking nonsense... HEHE

HOw horrible it is, phone can cause cancer and i still using it everyday... Bacteria everywhere and it is just all over the shoes we wear... other people so rich and i scare i am the poor one!!

Exam is near and some people dislike, but force to stress themselves in the very last moment...

We are still living because one day we are going to die... and people fear die, no doubts.

i also...

BUT, they are all craps... because human just think to live happily without thinking much of that. Then why should i so worry... Well, just back in mind, i am phobia-ing, yet i am still smiling at you, said i am so happy to see you again... HEHE... we should live happily also when we are in paranoid, dont we...

POSITIVE HABIT OPTIMISTIC BACK IN ACTION!!! P.H.O.B.I.A....

Now, phobia becomes PHOBIA, and hate becomes fancy... HAHA...

Ps: It is all CRAPS!!!

MY SHOES!!!

My dad wore my new shoes to his special occasion... How can this be... NO way man!!

I just realised yesterday... This is not a common shoes to me... it is a present from my uncle's girlfriend!! due my 8As result in pmr...

Without my permission, or at least inform me first la... He just took like that and wore it..

Oh, Gosh....

After wore, he just left it under the stair. I wasted my night cleaning my lovely new shoes.

It is white, totally white!! it would be so obvious if any dirt stains on it...

Then, i received my explanation from mum... she told me because i wore dad's sport shoes till it spoilt.. so now he forced to wear mine... Okay... it acceptable..

BUT!! still, after have a new shoes of his own, Better stay away from my new shoes...!!

Exam is coming again...

Next week is exam already...

Not again... Haiyo, I haven prepare yet la...

Especially, sejarah... 2 chapters only, but so much to study.

it will be better if it is in english... No doubts.

In class, almost all students are sleeping when teacher teaches sej. Thomas said only me was the one who listening what teacher taught... I dont care much lo, Why should i??

However, teacher couldnt finish syllabus in time also... Order us to go back read ourselves...

But, till now, I haven touch the ' read ourselves one'... I believe quite a lot students in class still didnt study de lo.

Harh!! and add-math... so messy... some questions teacher didnt teach how to solve also, then, i should work out myself... That one no problem, i like to kill my cell brain either...

AND! literature... i dont know what gonna come out, and the format... teacher not even mentioned a single word, yet so much concern on summary... Essays she gave since from school started, not one paragraph she has marked... What the... I really speechless on this.

Next week i dont want to stay except TUESday... but i forced to because i need to have my lunch in school... Fate Set me up lo.

Aww... Whatever!! i gonna study whenever have time la... I mean start from next week... Dont know whether i will maintain this o not... Hope yes...

Waiting For NOTHING!!

Yesterday... i went to kajang to register and do a passport... Dad kept asking me to wake up early. But, i woke up at 9, so reached there 10... I shocked when i saw a long queue... so people need passport today meh, cant wait meh...

What to do... i wait lo... i took the number... it was 1222... and current number was 1056... Walao, still got hundred more turns to wait... and there are total 3 counters to pass before i finally get my passport. All of a sudden, the system there down!! the workers there said cause the computer jam... what the... i tended to go back but dad asked me to wait...

Tick tock... it almost 12 something, the system ran back again. oklo, luckily we waited... Then, dad suggested we go out eat first cause still got a long time to reach my turn... After lunch, we went back and it was 1079... there are 10 counters, but oni 2 counters were working!! walao, no wonder so slow... like snail ==

Fine, we wait... then, 2 o'clock, the number was 1111... The computer jam again, system offline adi... Wah, again, OMG... But, we still wait... hope it worked normal again ... Who knows, the system still stucked there till the place closed and it was 5... we forced to went back home. xs

i wasted my whole day waiting for NOTHING leh... What the... damn angry. government service was like that?!! even some of the seats there were also spoilt!! i really wonder where the tax that our parents have paid go to.. Only 2 counters were working... How about others, for decoration or ornaments?? System down, why?? not once but twice in a day!!

Disappointed sign... Hopeless.... And my passport never done also... ... ...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! XD

Today is chinese new year!!! yahoo... i eat a lot laeh... so many things to eat, cant afford to eat them all, cuz my tummy is small... xp

Btw... it is valentines day also, Haha, so sad, i m still single now...

but, i still got my mum accompany me.. xp

... PS> wish you all a happy chinese new year and valentines day... Hehe...

i nid to sign off adi, funssssss are waiting me eagerly out there... ^^

Cny ----- ktfb

Just went to studio last friday...

Action speaks more than words...
Check it out now....

jam before chinese new year...

超喜欢你 (band cover by KTFB)



春风吻上我的脸(band cover by KTFB)


Still got one... haven upload yet...
xp